Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Randomize
