You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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