i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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