how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
