Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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