im gay
i know
yea but for you.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
