He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
