i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
