She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
