Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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