I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
