I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
