"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
