Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I need to sanitize my soul.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
