i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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