it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
