I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
