I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
