We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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