I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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