as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
