Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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