I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
now i know why i became what i already was.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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