I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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