I love black thongs
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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