It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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