I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
