sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
