do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
