im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
