Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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