Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
