I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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