wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
We are all done wearing pants today
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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