dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
