Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
