I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
