WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
