I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
