I swear she didn't look like that last week.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
