I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
