if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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