There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
