his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
