woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
