Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
