Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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