Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
