I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
