I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
