ugly people sure do ruin things
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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