i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
